I have had what one might consider a spiraling manic episode this week. Well, that’s a bit dramatic. But, it’s been a tough week and I let negative behaviors and emotions take control. Not proud. I recently found out about some wrong doings, I played the “that’s not fair game” and then I tried to make them make it right. Of course, to no avail.

So what happened? I stayed in a negative, yucky state all week. I hyper focused on the issue. I said things that may have been true, but served no one. I tried to force people to change that have no intention of changing. Yep, sounds really healthy right?

On the way home from work yesterday, I could just feel this aching in my soul. Like a demon had control. I know. DRAMATIC. I was like this is nuts. I work so hard, have such a beautiful family, am blessed beyond measure. Why do I care? And why would I let other peoples actions and choices eat at me and turn me away from MY life?

Well, that part is simple. Anytime we sense we are being wronged, we react. Do we have to? No. But how do we not? I mean we are doing what we are supposed to do, they aren’t, so why isn’t the law of nature taking care of it? In the Czech language we have a saying, tamash. That is absolutely not how you spell it. If you know, please correct me. It basically means they will get what’s coming. Honestly, that in itself sounds evil. So, I came to the conclusion…I need to let them do whatever, and I need to let it go so hard that I don’t even pay attention to what is going on.

Here is the how: gratitude. Again and again, I listen to VERY successful people hours each day (you remember, Podcasts and driving to Dallas). The one common theme is gratitude. It raises you above just about anything. Even the dark pit I was in this week. So on the way home yesterday, I kept saying, ok God get me out of this. Make me not feel the resentment. Make me blind to it all. And guess what? I immediately started thinking of what was waiting for me at home.

So side note, we recently got a 3D printer and let me tell you, it is a hit. All the kids are home, gathered around this thing, the boys working together on what to “print”. It’s been beautiful. I am not sure if I mentioned, but because of mine and Joe’s work life, our 14 year old daughter cooks dinner and cleans the kitchen almost every night. What a blessing! And, late last night when I went to take my shower, after I had finished this weeks payroll, I walked into our bathroom. We have a light over the tub (it’s a lantern that hangs down, very aesthetic) and I recently put flame flicker bulbs in it. It was a site. Calming, soothing, cozy. Thank you God for that moment.

So you see, it doesn’t matter what so-and-so is doing or if it is not fair. What matters is the life I have. If you are in a season of long days and nights, exhaustion, a bit overwhelmed, try to start noticing the little things, little hints of joy. They say gratitude is the way. And THEY are normally always right.